I will never get the things I want unless I ask. I will never get the things I want unless I ask.
I don’t understand why that concept is so hard for me, and many other women, to understand.
Let’s use a friend of mine’s relationship as an example. This situation could also fit a relationship or two of mine in the past. Friend was dating a guy who was somewhat emotional stunted. He was 31 and acted like he was 21 and had never dated before in his life. She wanted more from their relationship: more time, more affection, etc. One day, she lost it from all the frustration of wanting more, and lost her cool with him about how he wasn’t giving her enough for the past year. And he ended things.
That’s a shitty story, and while I didn’t particularly like him, I can see where he was coming from a bit. How can you be with someone who is so afraid to ask you for what they want? They’re so willing to except mediocrity until one day they can’t, just because they couldn’t ask a damn question.
Hey, can we spend more time together?
It’s baffling that we spend so much time putting other people ahead of ourselves to look like some type of saints, but guess what…..NO ONE IS A SAINT.
Relating back to my life, I very recently interviewed for a new position in my company. I received the offer today, WITH THE EXACT SALARY THAT I HAD WANTED TO GET. Call me crazy, but suddenly I wanted more. So instead of saying, yes that sounds wonderful, I asked for 5% more.
Why purposely take less if you can ask for more? Someone else in the office said I would look greedy….I don’t give a shit. All I did was ask a fucking a question. A question! Since when did asking a question have to make us needy, annoying, greedy, rude, and selfish.
It doesn’t. We’re allowed to be fucking people and we’re allowed to be fucking excited about our lives.